


F*** A Happy Ending

by wenderpul



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 19:34:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18629884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wenderpul/pseuds/wenderpul
Summary: Joohyun could not look past the empty side of her bed. Inspired by Loote ft. Eric Nam - Your Side of the Bed.





	F*** A Happy Ending

“Joohyun, come on. It’s rare that all of us are home for holiday. It’ll be hard to see the others again.”

 

Joohyun sighed at the non-stop whining and closed her notebook. “Not all of us came home with no assignments, you know.”

 

Seulgi appeared amused by Joohyun’s dry voice. It had been two weeks since holiday started but Joohyun barely left her house. It was not like Seulgi could not understand the reason behind Joohyun’s reluctance; there was something, or rather someone, Joohyun would rather not see.

 

“I wish you had brought your boyfriend here. Joy, Yeri and I are really excited to meet him, you know. Maybe then you won’t push yourself too much since we have almost 3 months off for you to finish whatever you need to do, nerd.”

 

Seulgi’s statement seemed to throw a bucket of cold water over Joohyun as the girl flinched slightly before her expression turned neutral again. It always seemed like there was a person-shaped absence in Seulgi’s words since…since.

 

“We’re…taking a break right now.”

 

Joohyun started carefully and she was not surprised when she saw the frown on Seulgi’s face. “Already? You’ve been with him for how long? Three months?”

 

Joohyun wanted to correct Seulgi. _Two, actually_. But she could not be bothered to keep track of it herself, so she let it be. Instead, she grabbed her cardigan that was hung neatly in her closet.

 

“Where’s the party tonight?”

 

The question was casual, but Seulgi could catch what Joohyun really wanted to know.

 

“Oh, it’s at Joy’s. _Some_ of us might not be able to make it since it’s weeknight and they have their part-time job tomorrow but you’ll be able to see a lot of familiar faces still. They’ve been asking about you.”

 

Joohyun bit her tongue, stopping herself from asking who were the people who inquired about her. She was not sure she wanted to know who did – or did not. She noticed the emphasis on the word ‘some’ in Seulgi’s sentence.

 

“Come on, bear. Let’s crash the party early so I can get back to my assignments by midnight.”

 

She walked out of her room first, leaving behind strewn papers, dog-eared books and her best friend on a messy half of her bed. She chuckled to herself when she heard Seulgi grumbled, “Hope your assignments keep your bed warm at night.

 

*

 

Joohyun almost regretted going to the party when a small figure crashed into her a little too roughly and scrambling arms hugged her before a head was pressed to her stomach.

 

“Joohyun, I’ve missed you.”

 

A breathy voice murmured to her stomach and Joohyun smiled as she gently pried the girl who had chosen to greet her midriff first rather than herself.

 

“I’ve missed you too Yeri. Sorry I’ve been bogged down with assignments, can’t see you girls much.”

 

Joohyun watched as Yeri’s red eyes widened, her mouth falling agape as she pointed her fingers wildly. “Madness! Who the fuck give work to do during the holiday! This is a modern form of slavery! They’re ripping our youth away from us and produce like-minded robots for capitalism consumption!”

 

“Yeri shut the fuck up do you want police to be called on us aga-” Joy froze mid-sentence. “Joohyun?”

 

Joohyun waved awkwardly. “Heya, Joy. Long time no see.”

 

Joy paled, and just like that Joohyun knew that she really should not have come.

 

*

 

Joohyun found her rather quickly. She was standing at the corner of Joy’s living room, right by the stairs. She was dressed in another one of her oversized hoodie and skinny jeans, smirking lazily as she scanned the living room, looking comfortable yet giving a dangerous vibe somehow. Joohyun realized then that she was probably guarding the stairs, making sure that no stray party-goers would wander to the second floor which was off-limits.

 

Her eyes met Joohyun abruptly fast, although still slower than Joohyun was used to. Her smirk quickly disappeared before it was replaced with a grin Joohyun did not even realize she missed until she saw it.

 

Her heart clenched at the sight before her.

 

Seungwan, the one that got away.

 

Just like how moths were drawn to fire, Joohyun found herself walking over to Seungwan, one step after another. She stepped in the house to music and technicolour lights but at the sight of Seungwan, she could only hear the sound of her roaring heart and the view of Seungwan looking so, _so beautiful_.

 

She had to remind herself to breathe as she stood beside Seungwan.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey yourself.” Seungwan was smiling now, her eyes disappeared into beautiful creases that Joohyun loved to kiss once upon a time. She averted her eyes as she leaned to the wall beside Seungwan.

 

“I heard you’re working part-time in,” Joohyun caught herself, she had almost used the word ‘our’ to describe Seungwan’s workplace, “the Subway near school. It’s Wednesday night, don’t you have work tomorrow?”

 

“My shift starts late tomorrow. Wow, you’re eager to chase me off don’t you.”

 

Joohyun shrugged, looking everywhere except at Seungwan. “Wouldn’t want you to show up at work bleary-eyed and hungover just in case I decide to drop by Subway tomorrow.”

 

She heard a snicker beside her. “Funny you said that at all, since I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at work. I was expecting you to show up on the first week but nope, not a glimpse of you at all.”

 

“Oh, you were waiting for me?”

 

“Duh. You love sandwich, and that’s the closest Subway to your house. I doubt you have grown competent in the kitchen during the past 8 months I didn’t see you.”

 

Joohyun felt her heart skipped a beat. Seungwan waited for her? And kept track of how long had it been since they last saw each other?

 

‘Seungwan started college around the same time too, Joohyun. Stop being delusional.’

 

“I’ve been busy doing my readings and assignments.”

 

Seungwan crinkled her nose at this. “Giving assignments to students during a 3 months holiday seems a bit overkill.”

 

“I’m aiming to be an RA for one of my lecturers, so she gave me extra work to do to test me whether I’m up for the job or not. She has never had a freshman as her RA, so she’s quite skeptical of me. I really want this, so I have to pass this stupid test.”

 

Joohyun supplied Seungwan with a longer explanation she did not give anyone else. She was scared of failure and she thought that less people knew about the reason behind her extra workload, the less people she would have to tell in case of failure. But Seungwan, she was different. Joohyun did not need anyone else to root for her when she had Seungwan by her side.

 

“You’d nail it, I know you will. You always work so hard when you want something really badly.”

 

There was a wistful tone when Seungwan spoke and Joohyun bit her lip, knowing that they were both recalling a time when Joohyun did not want something badly enough. Joohyun quickly scrambled for a change in topic as the mood between them got heavier.

 

 “How are your parents? And Seunghee?”

 

“They’re doing great. Seunghee has started working now, so I have a sugar sister to fund my expensive lifestyle.”

 

She could hear the relief in Seungwan’ voice for the change of topic. “Gross. Who would call their own sister as sugar sister.”

 

“Would you prefer glucose brethren instead?” They both cackled at the silly suggestion.

 

Out of a sudden, someone crashed into Seungwan and Joohyun almost shoved the stranger out of reflex. Her movements stilled when she saw the girl paused, face inches from Seungwan with unfocused eyes and lazy grin before she grabbed Seungwan’s chin and pressed their lips together.

 

Joohyun expected Seungwan to shove this drunk idiot away from her and if she needed help, Joohyun was all too ready to do it. Her whole body tensed and she assumed her fight stance, but she paused when she saw Seungwan palmed the stranger’s cheeks and stuck a tongue in the stranger’s mouth.

 

She wanted to look away from the scene in front of her but she could not tear her eyes away from Seungwan. There was a wave of mixed emotions coursing through her – awkwardness, shame, anger, jealousy and beneath it all, sadness.

 

Sadness that grew in size until it slowly drowned all the other emotions, a feeling so potent, Joohyun had to remind herself to breathe so that she would not be consumed by sorrow. Eventually, she averted her eyes but it was too late, the damage had been done. The image of Seungwan kissing another person that was not Joohyun would forever be seared in her mind.

 

To think she had felt lighter than she had been in months just a few moments ago; Joohyun had let her guard down too easily. Foolish, naïve girl.

 

After what felt like excruciating a few hours (though it was probably less than a minute), Joohyun heard a wet, sloppy sound of lips being parted and murmurs, which was probably Seungwan’s. It was tempting to look over to the two people, but Joohyun was scared if she would see something worse than kissing. When timid fingers tapped her shoulder, she looked over it to see a pretty girl with long, wavy black hair covering the sides of her face smiling sheepishly at her.

 

“Wannie said I should apologize for jumping on her when she was talking to a company so, uh, sorry I suppose.”

 

She did not look the least bit sorry: embarrassed perhaps, but Joohyun could also see the flush of her cheeks and the light in her eyes that were unfocused. She was proud – and happy. Joohyun smacked her dry lips as she searched for words in her brain, trying her best to not snap at the stranger.

 

“It’s okay.” Joohyun started small, with dismissive wave. “You’re drunk, and you want to kiss someone. It’s normal.” She chided herself internally because she sounded like she was convincing herself more than the stranger but the girl before her seemed to not realize her tone since she nodded in agreement a little too aggressively.

 

“Yeah, I mean, my girlfriend looks so hot tonight, it would be a sin if I don’t like, kiss her you know?”

 

There was fire in Joohyun’s eyes that burned intensely as the word ‘girlfriend’ slipped from the stranger’s mouth and she clenched her fist and gritted her teeth. She had no rights to be angry, not anymore.

 

“I’m Taeyeon, by the way. Seungwan’s girlfriend. I suppose you’re one of her high school friends?”

 

Behind Taeyeon, Joohyun could see Seungwan’s eyes widening and she bitterly chuckled, knowing what it meant.

 

“Yeah. We were classmates.” She paused. “Shared a few classes here and there but was not really that close.”

 

Joohyun recalled the nights when they used to lay in bed together, arms wrapped around each other as they whispered of forever, a time when the future was in their grasp. There was a moment in time when they could communicate with mere looks, when Seungwan was Joohyun’s everything and Seungwan would never imagine being with someone who was not Joohyun.

 

‘Not close’. She wanted to simultaneously laugh and cry but she jutted her chin out and met Taeyeon’s eyes squarely, avoiding the look thrown in her direction.

 

“Aww. I wanted to hear more stories about her.” Her words were slurred. “Someone said she used to have a steady girlfriend in high school but no one really wanted to tell me more, even that cutie over there.”

 

Taeyeon randomly pointed behind her, where Seungwan was standing and Joohyun could see from the corner of her eyes the twisted smile Seungwan pasted on her face, the one that showed her pearly teeth but did not quite reach her eyes.

 

“I don’t really remember either, I’m sorry.”

 

Instead of complaining about Joohyun’s lack of memory, Taeyeon suddenly moved closer to Joohyun and studied her face. Joohyun was startled by the sudden closeness but she held her ground, out of some silly competitive trait within her that did not want to lose to Taeyeon.

 

“You know…” Taeyeon drawled our her words and Joohyun smelled cheap beers and a vanilla scent that felt invasive and foreign, “You kinda look like me. Huh, that’s weird.”

 

Taeyeon cackled like an old lady but Joohyun just smiled weakly, at loss of how to response. That was when Seungwan decided to butt in the conversation, though Joohyun did not know whether it was because of what Taeyeon said or she just felt like doing it now.

 

“Okay, babe. You’re wasted. Let’s go home now and settle you in.”

 

“Hurm, you’re warm, Seungwan ah.”

 

Taeyeon slung an arm around Seungwan’s shoulders, snuggling closer to her neck and she let herself be carried by her slightly smaller girlfriend. Joohyun watched as Seungwan glanced at her. The girl’s eyes were apologetic and there was something even more intense in her look, something Joohyun could not decipher but she turned away before she could understand the meaning behind them.

 

Seungwan walked away with Taeyeon in tow and Joohyun stayed rooted to where she was standing, stoically staring forward.

 

*

 

Joohyun laid on her bed and when her hand fell to the side of the bed, she jerked it away as an automatic response, laughing at herself like a madwoman when she realized her silly action.

 

She felt tired beyond reason.

 

There would be a long time before she would stop thinking that the other side of the bed belonged to a person who was no longer there, before she could stop finding the same warmth in the people who could never be, before she was able to move on from gravitating towards the same person in a party full of people.

 

It would be a longer time for _her_ to stop finding Joohyun in ‘almosts’ and ‘close enoughs’.

 

With these thoughts haunting her, Joohyun closed her eyes, hoping for sleep to come sooner.

 

Ignoring the blaring empty side of her bed. 

 

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> This was a writing practice during a writer block season. Fun.


End file.
